what happened in a year?

so many things happened this year
the worst and the good one
I can't be poetic and decided not to romanticize my life either

I can't remember since when I despise my life. I live but I hardly feel alive, everything because I can't achieve what normal, "normal", people do. everything that I experience are true but the overall live is dull.

I feel like my life aren't me, that part me aren't for people to see and a shame. 

I dreamt this very stage of my life for 3 years. I might be jinx it but the image it's too clear in my head.

no, I won't claim anything yet, or maybe ever. humbled myself seems better than someone mock me down.

I feel like I can finally breath. Walk with my head up instead of down from all the shamed that I shouldn't be that hard on myself, or maybe I need it after all.

I'm just a human, just bear with it.

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