about that headache

 18.13

8 Oktober 2022


a few second ago I just post my drunk diary that had been stuck in my draft since the last time I writing it. that drunk diary doesn't express and explain much about what I'm going through. now let's start from the beginning shall we.

let start from the kosan problem. sebenernya untuk sekarang ini mungkin bisa dibilang gw sudah lebih menerima semua problem yang ada. walaupun jadinya tiap minggu gw mesti pulang ke rumah untuk bisa beristirahat dan tidur dengan tenang. I feel bad to consciously keeping my distance with her in bed to order getting away from the smell or getting kick or getting touch with her. gw sendiri juga gk tau sih diri gw bau atau gk but can she thinking for one second that she should keep her clothes smell nice. but luckly this week I didn't get a any bad fragrance from her so yay I get a nice sleep for a week but still can't compare with sleep in may own bed. 

about pulang tiap minggu juga menjadi satu hal yang ternyata tidak bisa lepas dari karakter diri gw yang seorang interovet. mau sebagaimana pun dekatnya kita sekarang tapi gw tetep perlu waktu untuk bisa sendiri. pulang pergi sendiri di dalem transportasi umum tanpa harus mengkhawatirkan orang lain. menonton film yang gw mau gw tonton tapi malu atau takut mereka melihat hal yang gw tidak pengen mereka liat. bahkan untuk membaca fanfic yang smut aja udh gk asik sekarang. tradisi setiap malam gw terganggu karena gw sendiri sekarang jadi lebih capek jadi kalo udh nempel bantal itu bawaannya pengen tidur, mau baca smut juga jadi gk enak without touching my self (even tho outside the pants) so I can't feel the pleasure. gw kangen bisa goleran di kasur sebebas mungkin, nonton film di laptop sambil tiduran, main hp setelah jam tidur sampe malem. makanya kemaren pas hari kamis, jumat, senin pas mbak ning sama nur pulang akhirnya gw bebas sendirian di kamar dan mendominasi kasur semau yang gw bisa. kalo diceritain lagi pasti panjang banget dah soal kosan hhhhhh kagak abis".


now about the romance part. hahaha tai kucing. sorry for saying it that way but it is the fact. they just some stupid pick me boy and they really match with their pick me girl too. pokoknya kayak iiiiih banget gw pernah mikirin yang gk gk soal mereka bahkan sempet naksir sebentar. kayak iiih ngapain gw sampe mimpiin mereka gitu hueeeegh. their relationship with the biology girl is absolute perfect and I won't feel sad or envy for a bit if they really end up together. mereka tuh yang sama" caper sok asik iye banget gitu loh. merasa mereka tuh perkumpulan remaja yang asik bangettt. kenapa sih anak bio sampe segitunya berusaha untuk bisa deket sama cowok kayak apa aja jadi bahan video, foto, bercandaan yang harus banget publicly spread out. why don't they do it normal way like getting know each other slowly, keep your distance, don't always trying for engage them to a conversation if it not necessary, even hang out at his flat just because you are is close now. girl don't make yourself cheap for a men just because their men. I don't know if maybe I'm too salty. but all of my friend have the same opinion about it sooo the conclusion had been made.


actually I would love to talk about my teaching experience but I'm gonna make it not different post to keep it separately from this weird diary topic. idk  when to write it, it could be now or later when I want to. but actually it should be as soon as possible while this topic is still hot in my head, we will see how my mood affect this.

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